50 Signs You’re a Programmer Geek

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  1. I consider 256 to be a nice, round number.
  2. I become annoyed when 10K means 10,000.
  3. I’ve written a useless program just for the “fun” of it.
  4. In fact, I prefer writing useless programs.
  5. I start counting from 0 and end up with one less than everyone else.
  6. I write equals as == and not equals as !=.
  7. I understand (0x2b||!0x2b) and find it funny.
  8. I know where to find the {braces} keys without looking.
  9. I call text phrases “strings.”
  10. I dream in code.
  11. I refer to eating and drinking as uploading.
  12. I refer to using the bathroom as downloading.
  13. I frequently use words like iteration, implementation, contiguous, trivial, version, array, polymorphic, parse, and WTF in casual conversations.
  14. When someone asks me what languages I speak, I reply: “Python, C++, JavaScript, and Solidity.”
  15. I hear the word “Scuzzy” and don’t think it’s a bad thing.
  16. My favorite f-word is fdisk.
  17. <rant>I include XML in regular correspondence.</rant>
  18. I use camelCase for names.
  19. I take things too literally.  For example, my wife gets upset when she asks “Do you want to take out the garbage?” (no) instead of “Will you take out the garbage?” (yes).
  20. I respond to questions too logically.  For example, when a waitress asks me, “Would you like coffee or tea?”  I respond, “Yes.”
  21. I answer negative questions in the technically-correct but awkward way.  When my mom asks me, “Wouldn’t you like a glass of milk?”  I respond, “Yes, I wouldn’t like a glass of milk.”
  22. I refer to having sex as setting up a LAN!
  23. When I make a mistake or say something I shouldn’t have, I wish I could press Ctrl+Z.
  24. When searching a paper book, I get frustrated that I cannot simply press Ctrl+F to find the text I’m looking for.
  25. When a store cashier asks me for my zip code, I demand to see the store’s privacy policy.
  26. I get sudden attacks of bittersweet nostalgia when thinking about my long-lost Commodore 64, Sinclair ZX-81, TRS-80, or Amiga 1000.
  27. It’s hard for me to make an absolute statement because I always consider there may be an edge case.
  28. I unit-test my spouse, expecting deterministic, solid outputs for a certain input with boundary conditions.
  29. I tell my spouse to “stop throwing exceptions that I’m not willing to catch.”
  30. I email myself notes rather than writing them.
  31. I hold a mouse more than my wife’s hand.
  32. I end my sentences with a semicolon…
  33. … actually not anymore since I discovered Python.
  34. I assume that most people love their jobs like I do.
  35. I’d rather text the guy in the next cubicle than talk to him.
  36. Nighttime and sleep are no longer irrevocably linked.
  37. I think these programming jokes are hilarious.
  38. I think xkcd is the funniest webcomic ever.
  39. I think the three primary colors are red, green and blue.
  40. I have more than one monitor.
  41. I have more email addresses than pairs of shoes.
  42. The number of computers in my house exceeds the number of romantic relationships I’ve had in my lifetime.
  43. I run a Web server at home.
  44. Instead of playing games on my Xbox, I set up a Bitcoin node.
  45. I carry a USB flash drive in my pocket wherever I go.
  46. I know what a router is, and I know what a bit is, but I don’t know what’s a router bit.
  47. I helped my grandma create her own blog.
  48. I talk to my computer the way most people talk to their significant other.
  49. I email myself to remind me to do something.
  50. I rig up elaborate mechanisms to perform basic tasks.
  51. When I’m reading a magazine and I see an underlined passage, I feel compelled to click on it.

Shout Out

This compilation is from multiple awesome ❤️ online sources such as the following: